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About This Blog
This is my personal blog, so there's no accounting for what you'll get here. I'll blog a lot of something one month and be on something totally different the next.

I also rant and argue a lot.

Stuff I usually blog:
→ politics (American and international)
→ international relations
→ fandom
→ social justice (feminism especially)
→ language & linguistics
→ personal stuff
→ Alison Krauss

This blog doubles as an Alison Krauss' boobs appreciation blog because for some reason, when you do a Google search for Alison's boobs, my blog is generally the first relevant result. I don't know how this happened, but I will accept it, because if people are gonna be googling her boobs, better they find the blog of a heterosexual fangirl than that of some skeezy old man. (For the record, I also co-moderate Fuck Yeah Alison Krauss.)

If I ever disappear or get hacked, find me at iellaantilles.tumblr.com.

And if you speak Czech, talk to me 'cause I need to practice that language more!

Recent Tweets @Silver_Queen

Posts tagged "feminism"

Anonymous Asks:

What is your opinion on the expectation of a woman to take a man's name after marriage?

silverqueen Said:

I don’t have a problem with it, as long as the woman doesn’t mind giving up her name. I don’t even really have a problem with it being considered the norm. I only have a problem with people who would shame others for choosing to go a different route - people who think that a man taking a woman’s name is a sign of weakness, for example.

Traditions aren’t usually harmful in and of themselves. It’s just the rigid expectation that traditional ways of doing things are the only “right” ways. I think in this instance, though, people are getting more used to hyphenated names and blended names, which is a good thing.

Of course, a man taking a woman’s name still gets pretty negative reactions out of people. Equal name-sharing is something people can usually understand, but let a woman assume a position of dominance traditionally held by a man, and it still strikes many people as “wrong.” That negative gut reaction to female dominance is a problem.

Followup to that last post:

TW for rape culture

Don’t tell your girl friends, “Well you knew he was interested in you and you still talked to him anyway, so you should have known that he was gonna try to be sexual toward you.” Just don’t.

It doesn’t make you sound worldly and ~versed in the ways of men~ like you think it does.

You’re trying to force your friend to feel responsible for sexual advances that she did not want, and you’re justifying the guy’s behavior.

That’s how rapes happen. That’s how rape victims start to feel guilty for what happened to them and thus don’t report the crime.

And far from making you seem knowledgeable and mature, in fact, it shows how little you know about how healthy relationships function.

You’re not some oracle of advice for your less-experienced female friends just because you’ve had sex and you read Cosmo. Not if the only advice you can give is based on sexual stereotypes, instead of on how to have meaningful, equal partnerships with men.

I don’t want my friends getting their ideas about sex from you.

On “what girls should expect” from guys

Possible TW for discussions of rape culture and misogyny.

I’ve been really lucky to have great relationships with men in my life.

It’s not that I’ve never been made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe by guys I considered my friends, because God knows I have. I’ve even been made to feel uncomfortable at times by guys whom I have otherwise great friendships with.

But I’ve never been in a relationship with a man who mistreated me or didn’t respect my autonomy. I’ve never been in even a crush/texting/flirting relationship with a guy who didn’t respect my boundaries or tried to force me into a stereotype of “what girls are supposed to do.” Whenever I’ve run into a guy like that, I’ve steered clear of him, and thank Eru, I’ve never had to fight to get away.

I had only one relationship where I knew the guy was primarily interested in sex - was sexual in a way that I wasn’t ready to be - but even then, he never tried to force me to do anything, fortunately for me.

I shouldn’t have to feel grateful for not ever being sexually used by a partner. It’s fucked up that this makes me lucky.

But I am lucky, and I am grateful, because so many girls are under the impression that attacks on their personal space are natural. So many girls think, “I talked about sex with him, so it’s my fault he got the wrong impression,” or “I let him pay for the movie, so it was a date whether I wanted it to be or not.”

But it’s not naive to believe that you can talk to a guy about sex or go to a movie with him without having to consent to sexual advances. Not all men are irascible horndogs wired to force their sexuality upon any woman who gives them a chance. And it’s upsetting when I see girls thinking that way, because if a girl resigns herself to sexual aggression from men, then men will continue to be sexually aggressive with her. When girls believe that men have the right to dictate the sexual terms of a relationship, then men continue to believe that, as well. The belief creates reality.

I’m so lucky to have been in relationships with guys who respected my right to define our relationship, to stop when I wanted to, to change my mind, or to be an openly sexual person without choosing to have sex with them.

And I don’t have many friends, but I do have some great guy friends who know that I would kick their asses if they ever tried to sexualize me or define for me what is and isn’t okay - or if I ever caught them doing the same to any other woman. And I love them for that.

I just wish every girl knew that she doesn’t have to settle for anything less than that.

I asked a young White woman why she was studying social anthropology. She replied that she was hoping to go to Zimbabwe, and felt that she could help women there by advising them how to organize. The Black women in the audience gasped in astonishment. Here was someone scarcely past girlhood, who had just started university and had never fought a war in her life. She was planning to go to Africa to teach female veterans of a liberation struggle how to organize! This is the kind of arrogant, if not absurd attitude we encounter repeatedly. It makes one think: Better the distant armchair anthropologists than these ‘sisters’.

African feminist Ifi Amadiume

(via newwavefeminism)

(via hospitalwristbands)

thebergeronprocess:

newsweek:

Here’s this week’s cover, on newsstands and the iPad tomorrow morning. And the summary of the corresponding story:

In an age where women are dominating - in the workplace, at school, at home - why are they seeking to be dominated in their love lives? Recent media portrayals have shown that a rising number of modern women fantasize about being overpowered, while studies are turning out statistics that bewilder feminists. New shows like HBO’s Girls and books like Fifty Shades of Grey are showcasing the often hidden desire for powerlessness. But why? Katie Roiphe examines the submissive yet empowered female in Newsweek. “It is perhaps inconvenient for feminism that the erotic imagination does not submit to politics, or even changing demographics,” she writes.

We haven’t seen the cover story yet, but color us intrigued! Let’s hear your pre-thoughts, tumblr.

Pre-thoughts:

Just stop giving this crappy Twilight fanfiction with find-replace mode activated so much attention! It is not indicative of what every woman wants—and contains some really messed-up abusive elements (the male character tells the female character WHAT SHE CAN EAT and disapproves of her hanging with male friends?!)—so stop trying to act like that kind of relationship is what every woman wants. I’m a strong-willed sex-positive feminist and if someone wishes to consensually engage in BDSM activities, that’s fine! But abusive things like that…those don’t sound like loving, consensual things with the aim of producing pleasure and happiness to me. Portraying them as such…that’s missing the point.

But whatever, we’re Time subscribers. PEACE OUT.

NEWSFLASH: FEMINISM DOES NOT MEAN EVERY WOMAN HAS TO BE DOMINANT OR INDEPENDENT OR PROFESSIONAL. IT JUST MEANS THAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT AND THE FUCKING MEANS TO BE HOWEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS TO BE, AND THAT SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO BULLSHIT “ANALYSIS” OF HOW SHE CAN POSSIBLY BE A COMPLEX HUMAN BEING WITH CONFLICTING DESIRES AND AN INTRICATE IDENTITY.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life.

Melissa McEwan, of course, on the terrible bargain. My life as a woman, as a queer person, as a fat person, is not your thought experiment. (via sanitywatchers)

This really struck a chord. Even my boyfriend, feminist that he is, can have this reaction when I’m in tears after an NPR story. This is my fucking life. Excuse me if I can’t remove the personal.

(via curiousgeorgiana)

I reblogged this before, but I like it a lot so I’m reblogging it again.

This whole thing is the reason why confrontations with people that I consider friends always leaves me crying. Like, I get so angry and so flustered because it’s not just some stupid game to me, like it is to them. It’s something that’s real and personal.

(via liquidiousfleshbag)

I will always reblog this.

(via loveintheshadowsistheonlykind)

YES. YES. YES. Fuck playing the devil’s advocate

(via raggedyanndy)

(via hospitalwristbands)

A Slam on Feminism in Academia by Shaunga Tagore:

why did you let me through the doors in the first place
if you were just gonna turn around and force me out?

why did you let me in this ivory tower
filled with hippie feel-good activist academics
debating about feminist organizing in high theory discourse
while barely-paid migrant workers prepare lunches
for seminars, conferences, forums
and get deported the next day

an award winning tenured professor once told me
the only way i will succeed at graduate school
is if i read 300 pages of theory per week per class
and if i’m not capable
my writing must be of low quality
my intellect must be incredibly juvenile

nothing could be wrong with the way things are
because to change the rules would
undermine what it means to receive a graduate school education
and would leave me unprepared to
compete for future jobs and faculty positions

let me ask you
exactly which graduate student’s education are you concerned about here?

not single mothers who need extra time to look after their families
not pregnant women who need a little more maternity leave

not low-income folks who need to take 2nd or 3rd jobs
to pay bills their funding doesn’t cover
not racialized international students who don’t have access to most scholarships

not the people with disabilities
who don’t have access to comply with the way things are
made to feel something is wrong with them
instead of with the rules themselves

not those who survive sexual violence
and need extra time to grieve rage or deal

not anyone with familial, historical ties
to places and races always under siege
living under governments set on killing their people

who must spend free time at sit-ins or rallies
where emotions and exhaustions run too high
drumbeats and chants ring too loud
to read a detached article due for class the next day

not Indigenous students who are expected
to read speak and engage with
languages, theories, and knowledges
that erase appropriate and colonize
their lands, cultures, and selves
with the same ease as the colonizers

not people of colour subjected to
subtle and blatant racism
making it impossible to participate
the same way as their white peers

not anyone who needs to spend every moment of their leisure timefinding other ways of learning
through art, community activism, collective therapy(or a mashup of all three)

your ideal graduate student is
someone who doesn’t have to experience community organizing
because you’ve already assigned them five chapters to read about it

your ideal graduate student is
someone who can’t talk about positionality or privilege without referencing some article

your ideal graduate student is
rich enough
white enough
straight enough
able-bodied and -minded enough
to be given luxury of enjoying sitting in a corner reading 900 pages aweek
(with their fair trade starbucks coffee in hand and their lulu lemon trackpants on ass)

your ideal graduate student
IS NOT ME
so WHY did you let me through these doors in the first place
if you were just gonna turn around and shove me out?

to fill some quota for affirmative action?
to appear like a progressive program without putting in the effortof actually being one?

don’t pretend you’re not secretly wishing you could
impersonate my lawyer to kidnap me
and deport me in a heartbeat

if i did so much as look at you funny
talk back
write an angry poem
and undermine your authority

by rolling my eyes at your hypocrisy

feminism in academia – OWN UP TO YOURSELF
do not pretend to be the godsend intellectually paving the revolution

recognize that the ones let through these doors by some strategic mistakeare the ones making you look goodwhile we burn out and burn up by your hands

what is it about your knowledge and educationthat prevents you from imagining
all the different reasons someone may be in graduate schoolor feel the need to study gender, race, sexuality, and class?

some of us are not here to one day
soullessly recite the entire cannon of queer theory development
with our hearts and minds closed
some of us do not wish to compete to be the
newest biggest baddest radical faculty-hire

some of us need to engage with feminist theory
so we can ground it in our community activist workour creative work
our personal relationshipsfor our families, communities and histories
for our own fucking deserved peace of minds

maybe we need to know how to make sense of oppression
because we’re so heartbroken
we don’t want to end up being locked away in psychiatric institutions
or in a hospital overdosed on pills, getting our stomachs pumped
because we don’t know WHY all this shit is constantly driving us CRAZY

what i want to know is why the fuck YOU were let through these doors
and made to think you could decide all the rules FOR US?

you tell me my intellect is lacking

i’m not worthy of being here
if i’m not capable of doing exactly what you say
exactly your way
but i choose to follow the kind of wisdom your 300 pages per week per
classcould never teach you

it’s gotten me this fucking far

this this this is my problem with academia in general.

What do you think street harassment is about? Sex? Benign flattery? Attraction? Women who can’t just suck it up and deal?

It’s power. Catcalls, sexist comments, public masturbation, groping, stalking and assault: gender-based street harassment makes public places unfriendly, frightening and dangerous for many girls, women, and LGBQT people.

It’s power to control public spaces. Power to alter paths. Power to shame, scare and intimidate. Power to define what is safe and what is not. It’s the power to say: “I’m entitled to touch you, comment on your body, coerce you to smile, control your movement.” Even when women perceive catcalls as flattering, they are nonetheless aware that it’s an unpredictable degree away from possible harm.

International Anti-Street Harassment Week: 10 Things You Can Do To Stop Street Harassment

happy (wrong word?) International Anti-Street Harassment Week, y’all

(via tooyoungforthelivingdead)

(via hospitalwristbands)

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows, because it always coincides with their own desires.

Susan B. Anthony - American women’s suffrage and antislavery crusader. Arrested, tried, and (although defended by Matilda Joslyn Gage) found guilty for casting a vote in the 1872 election. Expelled from the National Labor Union for encouraging women to enter the printing trades while males workers were on strike. (via helvetebrann)

sba was a total bamf.

(via eytancragg)

when people get mad at other people saying that something they did was racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever
I don’t get it
it’s like
If you were hanging out with your friend and your friend turns to you and says “hey I don’t know if you noticed but you just stepped on my foot, can you please stop”, I am guessing most people would say “oh man, I’m sorry” and maybe watch where they were walking a little better
You probably would NOT:
yell at your friend for accusing you of stepping on their foot
deny that you had stepped on your friend’s foot
argue with your friend over how you step on everyone’s feet equally, so it shouldn’t matter
insist that you didn’t step on their foot that hard, so it couldn’t have hurt them
get offended over the implication that the way you walk is wrong
say “okay, but what about MY foot?”
step on your friend’s foot more to show how it isn’t even a big deal and nobody cares about people stepping on each other’s feet anymore
reference that one time when your friend stepped on YOUR foot and you didn’t complain
tell them you didn’t mean to do it, so you’re not responsible for stepping on their foot
deny that your friend has a foot
and I mean sometimes the person isn’t even a friend or someone you know but that doesn’t matter, don’t fucking step on people

tooth&nail: (via wewantrevolutiongirlstylenow)

#additionally i would like to supply: #suggest that your friend enjoys having their toes trampled #tell your friend to ask nicely #tell your friend that you’re just trying to prepare them for the harsh reality of life in a foot-stomping society #tell your friend that WELL AT LEAST I DIDN’T KICK YOU IN THE TEETH and then continue standing on their foot out of petulance

(via jamiemacdonalds)